Tears and Prawns.

I have a confession to make.

I nearly cried during dinner, while shelling a prawn on my plate.

Why?

Himself used to do it for me when we eat out. He taught me how to shell the prawn using fork n spoon. No fingers.

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Two Thursdays ago ( i have a knack blogging basi story eh?), while driving home deciding whether to hit the gym or go straight home, I received an sms from Himself.

"Awak, meh la turun GH. Saya tunggu."

He was in town. Visiting his makcik who was transferred from KT Hospital to HSA. Upon receiving his invitation, I felt excited (who doesn't at the thought of meeting your better half rite?) and anxious at the same time. As it turned out, he's not the only one who was waiting for me, there were his mom, and uncles, aunties, cousins from his extended family.

Uh-oh. Me versus 20 of them.

His Mom, I can handle. His Mak Ngah also can. I'm pretty likeable. hehe. But, what made me so red in the face was how his Mom and Mak Ngah introduced me to their big, jovial extended families.

They used the 'T' word. You know, T as in tunang.

"Inilah t*****nye An. Syana namanye," said his Mom to them, while Mak Ngah grinned and winked at me.

Then, I started to sweat profusely.

Himself was standing at the other side of the room, with a huge grin/smug on his face.

Things looked rather promising on that Thursday. The relatives were meriah, loud and witty; even at the face of adversity. We hit it off quickly. My anxiety weaned off bit by bit, and by the end of the visit we went out for dinner at the nearby Dataran Bandaraya (or Jam Besar, as he affectionately called it). Me, Himself, his Mom, Mak Ngah and Pak Ngah. The mood was warm, filled with laughters, endless teasing and friendly banters.

In between Sotong Goreng Tepung and Udang Black Pepper, Mak Ngah made a joke, "Na.. nanti ckp dgn bapak, pelamin tu buat lebar sikit tau. biar kuat sikit. Tgk ni Si An makin sihat. Kembang dah perut dia".

To which he replied, "Nanti perut ni transfer kat dia la Mak Ngah".

I nearly choked on the Ikan Siakap Masak Tiga Rasa.

I felt so at eased, and Himself looked so relax, so attentive and I swear, by just looking at him made my heart melt (all over again).

I was high. It felt like walking on air.

He even said those three magical words, over the phone, before we went to La-la Land.

Tapi itu cerita last week.

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Now, I'm at the lowest point.

He's a good man. Wanting to be the knight, protecting everyone he loves. But the load he has to carry, is too heavy.

Tengok udang je dah sedih. How am i going to go thru the rest of the days, nites, weeks or months? Or even years?

I would certainly bawl my eyes out, the next time I see Siakap Tiga Rasa.

Or Sotong Goreng Tepung.

Or Jam Besar.

*sigh*