In Transition

Tears and Prawns.

I have a confession to make.

I nearly cried during dinner, while shelling a prawn on my plate.

Why?

Himself used to do it for me when we eat out. He taught me how to shell the prawn using fork n spoon. No fingers.

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Two Thursdays ago ( i have a knack blogging basi story eh?), while driving home deciding whether to hit the gym or go straight home, I received an sms from Himself.

"Awak, meh la turun GH. Saya tunggu."

He was in town. Visiting his makcik who was transferred from KT Hospital to HSA. Upon receiving his invitation, I felt excited (who doesn't at the thought of meeting your better half rite?) and anxious at the same time. As it turned out, he's not the only one who was waiting for me, there were his mom, and uncles, aunties, cousins from his extended family.

Uh-oh. Me versus 20 of them.

His Mom, I can handle. His Mak Ngah also can. I'm pretty likeable. hehe. But, what made me so red in the face was how his Mom and Mak Ngah introduced me to their big, jovial extended families.

They used the 'T' word. You know, T as in tunang.

"Inilah t*****nye An. Syana namanye," said his Mom to them, while Mak Ngah grinned and winked at me.

Then, I started to sweat profusely.

Himself was standing at the other side of the room, with a huge grin/smug on his face.

Things looked rather promising on that Thursday. The relatives were meriah, loud and witty; even at the face of adversity. We hit it off quickly. My anxiety weaned off bit by bit, and by the end of the visit we went out for dinner at the nearby Dataran Bandaraya (or Jam Besar, as he affectionately called it). Me, Himself, his Mom, Mak Ngah and Pak Ngah. The mood was warm, filled with laughters, endless teasing and friendly banters.

In between Sotong Goreng Tepung and Udang Black Pepper, Mak Ngah made a joke, "Na.. nanti ckp dgn bapak, pelamin tu buat lebar sikit tau. biar kuat sikit. Tgk ni Si An makin sihat. Kembang dah perut dia".

To which he replied, "Nanti perut ni transfer kat dia la Mak Ngah".

I nearly choked on the Ikan Siakap Masak Tiga Rasa.

I felt so at eased, and Himself looked so relax, so attentive and I swear, by just looking at him made my heart melt (all over again).

I was high. It felt like walking on air.

He even said those three magical words, over the phone, before we went to La-la Land.

Tapi itu cerita last week.


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Now, I'm at the lowest point.

He's a good man. Wanting to be the knight, protecting everyone he loves. But the load he has to carry, is too heavy.

Tengok udang je dah sedih. How am i going to go thru the rest of the days, nites, weeks or months? Or even years?

I would certainly bawl my eyes out, the next time I see Siakap Tiga Rasa.

Or Sotong Goreng Tepung.

Or Jam Besar.

*sigh*

Hippy Librarian

Clinical School Library

*cough cough*

It IS a bit dusty here.

A lot of things has happened since the last post. I resigned from my 1st monthly paycheck job on the 28th July, packed my things from the office and still came for work till the 31st July (I should get paid ok!).
Had a mini farewell sessions given by the students. Lunch at Fig & Olive with Diyana, tea & cheesecake at Secret Recipes with Fadli. Darlings they were, I would miss them tremendously.
Pinky and the brain (surgeon) - me with fadli.

Reported to the new workplace (new ke? I was there about 11 months ago.) on the 1st Aug. Got sick on 2nd Aug and terribly sick on the 3rd, 4th and 5th Aug, with high fever. Asal masuk keje tempat baru je mesti demam dulu.

New place is fine. cume have to say bye-bye to my slacks and blouses. hehe. First thing i did, stock up on baju kurungs. For the first 2 weeks I would be attached to the officers, learning the ropes of working in the bigger, established library. Once in a while I do get anxiety attack. That strange sensation at the pit of my tummy? It was frequent. Haha. And the funniest thing is, since I'm assigned to the Cataloging Dept for my first 3 months, I had been dreaming about cataloging, subject headings even kena marah pasal salah cataloging for the past few nights!

Now, that's workaholic..to a new level.

Wish me luck and success at the new place. :)

p/s: I'm thinking of moving to a new blog or seize blogging. Why? Cos it would be hard to retain my anonymity with the current URL. So, there could be less chances of ngumpatan in here you see?? hahaha.